17 September 2006

The Wily Weed

My mother's grandmother used to recite this poem.

I have walked in summer meadow
When the sunbeams flashed and broke.
But I never saw the cattle
Nor the sheep or horses smoke

I have watched the world with wonder
When the grass with dew is wet
But I never saw a robin
Puffing at a cigarette.

I have fished in many a river
When the Jenny crop was ripe
But I never saw a sucker
Puffing on a pipe

Man's the only living creature
That parades this vale of tears
Like a sorting tractor engine
Spouting smoke from nose to ears.

If Dame Nature had intended
When she first invented Man
That he'd smoke--she would have
Built him on a vastly different plan.

She'd have fixed him with a damper
And a stove pipe and a grate
With a built-in smoke consumer
That was strickly up to date!

Nostrils would have pointed upward
So to make it easy be
For the snorting snuff consumer
Just to drop it in you see.

It can be found in the following publications:
higley, luther h., rev. and theodore f. frech. the brown god and his white imps, or, the evils of tobacco and cigarettes, the higley printing co., butler, indiana, 1916.
ketcheson, w.g.; gems of truth, faith economy printing concern, inc., berne, indiana, no date.

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