08 March 2009

Green Guru of Omaha!

I have started my own practice as a trained Green Irene Eco-Consultant for the Omaha area. I help families implement proven green solutions and help lead them to a healthier, safer, and more sustainable lifestyle, along with saving them money!

The main service I offer is a 60-to 90-minute Green Home Makeover. The steps I recommend and the products I offer, as well as referrals to specialists, can help save you energy and water. I can also help improve your indoor air quality, remove toxic chemicals from your home, reduce the waste you generate (which ends up in landfills) and improve the purity of the water your family drinks.

After I have finished the consultation, I will show you tips and products to make your home healthier. I can help you replace your wasteful incandescent bulbs, install low-flow shower heads, upgrade your thermostat, install carbon monoxide detectors and show you toxic-free cleaning options. There are many other green options I offer, which you can find in my online product catalog.

Along with the Green Home Makeover, you receive a three-month “Ask Green Irene” Membership. This extensive, green database allows you to research green questions that may arise after the initial Green Home Makeover. It also allows you the ability to email questions to a Green Irene researcher for an answer to any green question not yet covered in the database.

I welcome you to visit my website at www.GreenIrene.com/omahajules where you can find more information about a Green Home Makeover as well as shop for ego-friendly products I offer in my on-line catalog.

05 March 2009

Kitten in a bong

Out of all the news that could come out of Nebraska, the one story that generates so much "ink" is a moron in Lincoln who stuffs a 6-month old kitten into a bong... and then smokes it! I couldn't figure out why this story made so much noise, but after reading a few of the articles, I figured it out... the quips. You've got a cat, some pot and a moron add some creativity and you've got some fun writing. Here are some of my favorites:

The description from the moron about the previous two times he'd done this; according to the Jakarta Globe: “Every time we took her out she would pretty much just lay down and proceed to act like a stoned person,’’ Schomaker said.

You want to chill that pussy out, you got to toke that pussy up.
Samuel Jackson's blog

The dope who put a kitty in an over sized bong...
The Nebraska State Paper

MSNBC: he was hoping to calm the cat by smoking him into submission.

WSFA has got several good ones: deputies who eventually arrested the man weren't initially called to the scene to rescue the imprisoned furball turned furbong.

Shadow probably would've been higher than any tree she could've ever imagined climbing.

The L.A. Times: Bet the judge asks him, "Dude, what were you smoking?"

stuff.co.nz: Police discovered Schomaker's attempted feline freakout

Gizmodo: It presumably ate a shitton of cat food when it got there (to The Humane Society).

The Insider Shoemaker said Shadow was hyper following the rendezvous withe fuzz,